GUM: To Chew or Not To Chew?


HIM: Not to Chew!  A waste of useful energy with no reward except for ingesting some tasty chemical like Xylitol.  Could implicate you of murder too, just ask Aaron Hernandez of the Pats!

HER: Chew it! It’s just like exercise but instead of getting smelly and in shape, you get great breath And you get the crap outta your teeth!




HIM: Not Needed. Feels posh to say you have one, but you’ll never even look at it more than the one time you try show it off and FAIL because you wont be able get it to light!

HER: Too Much Work. Fireplaces are like boats. Nice to have a friend that owns one!

Using a COUPON on a First Date


HIM: Sneak It! Always save $ if possible, but do it without her noticing if you want a shot at getting to 1st base!

HER: Nope! Unless we’ve had a PPFDCD (positive pre first date coupon discussion) Dude better be paying full price!

Liberace Biopic: Behind the Candelabra


HIM: SKIP IT!  One too many rear end shots of Matt Damon & Michael Douglas for it to be enjoyable. Despite all the ASS, this flick was still incredibly mundane.

HER: Skip it. Felt really long. Although there are a lot of Matt Damon booty shots, the plastic surgery closeups haunted my nightmares. Yuck.